Monday, February 01, 2010

Beware of the D.U.M.B.

They are easy to spot - driving either way too slow or too fast. They eventually get next to you on the freeway and then they just get stuck there. I call them Dialed Unaware Motorized Blocks (or DUMB). The M could also stand for Mesmerized. These are folks who are so involved with their cell phone conversation that they cannot devote the needed concentration to driving - so they unconsciously rely on you to drive for them. You speed up a bit - they match. You slow down a bit - they match. They will unconsciously match you move for move because they figure if you are OK - they are OK. They are driving in a trance. Meanwhile, nobody can get around both of you because they are effectively blocking 2 lanes. But it's OK - these are very important people and that is a very important phone call. F*#K that!

I like to mess with these folks just a bit. First I verify the DUMB by speeding up slightly then slowing slightly. If they match both moves they are DUMB. So after a little while of them right next to me - when it is safe to do so - I slow down fast! Now you will see them panic and look around at what they missed. It is hilarious.

People who talk on the phone while driving are dumb. People who txt and drive are idiots. Neither of those two words are acronyms.

1 comment:

Josh Cunningham said...

My trip adventures are what happen on the fly with very little planning. I'm pretty sure some of my adventures have taken away a few of my brain cells- possibly leading to how I get thru these things. Hope all is well.