Friday, August 03, 2012

If You "Like" That - You Don't Like Me

Since I'm on a bit of a sabbatical this busy political season, I'd like to post a guest commentary from a friend, former co-worker, and blog buddy on this site. I won't mention his name and I will slightly edit the names mentioned in his letter as a matter of privacy - but please know this is a real letter sent to his family with regard to the Chick-fill-a controversy unfolding this week. He may claim ownership of it in the comment section if he chooses to. He writes:

I'll preface this by saying, I normally refrain from forwarding religious or political material because i realize that not everyone shares my spiritual or social beliefs. I'd never deny you the ability to practice whatever faith works for you, nor would I have the audacity to assume my faith is any more valid than yours. I also, for the most part, keep my identity as a gay man to myself; mainly 'cause I know it makes people (Aunt A, Uncle D, Aunt R, Uncle G...etc) uncomfortable, even though they don't think twice about condemning gays, gay marriage or HIV right in front of me. Mom tolerates it, but I know it's a struggle. I can empathize. It's taken most of my life to get past the shame and guilt; the stigma and fear. It's draining to live amongst people that think I'm going to hell, am an abomination, and am somehow less of a person because I don't subscribe to their religion or politics. Please, keep this in mind as you read on...

This whole Chic-fil-A issue isn't news to me. I've known about their ties to "Family" organizations - The Marriage and Family Foundation, The Family Research Council and Exodus International - for over a year now. Like I said, I usually keep my thoughts on these issues to myself. Then I saw you "liked" a post on facebook linking Chic-fil-A with President Obama and the tagline, "LIKE if you're fed up with liberal attacks on Chick-fil-A". Honestly, it hurt me. Then I thought, maybe you don't know the whole story. This isn't about First Amendment rights; The CEO's statements on marriage and "God's judgment" are covered under the same amendment that allows protesting, so nobody's freedoms are at stake...or are they?

Here's a statement from Peter Sprigg, the VP of The Family Research Council, one of the organizations Chic-fil-A helps fund... "I think that the Supreme Court decision in Lawrence v. Texas, which overturned the sodomy laws in this country, was wrongly decided. I think there would be a place for criminal sanctions against homosexual behavior."

and another one...

“I would much prefer to export homosexual from the United States than to import them into the United States, because we believe that homosexuality is destructive to society.”


So, if it were up to The Family Research Council, they would either have me exported out of the US or have me put me in jail. Really. These quotes are on video and not taken out of context. Both this group and The Marriage and Family Foundation have also done “missionary” work abroad that served to strengthen and promote criminalization of same-sex relations. Consider the fact that 29 states in the US can fire me, just because i'm gay. No questions asked. There are 75 countries in the world where it's illegal to be gay. In 9 countries, being gay is punishable by death. Death.

Think about this for a second. Think about all the pain and self-loathing I've been through. Think about how tough it's been to grow up in this family and realize I'm gay. Mom's support came in the form of a telephone number to some group that said they could "cure" me. Dad's support came in the form of "You're not gay!" Now, Do you think I've done anything to be thrown in jail for? Am I not fit to live in the US? Am I destructive to society? Chic-fil-A does considering they've donated $5 million to this organization and others like it. Think about this the next time you hear a debate on gay rights, sign a petition that wants to exclude me or give money to any cause that would keep me from having as fulfilling a life as you have.

Is it wrong to stand up to organizations that would want to put me in jail, remove me from society, fire me for being gay, prevent me from having the same benefits with my spouse that you have? This isn't a liberal or conservative stance as far as I'm concerned. I'm not a liberal if I choose to boycott an organization that would put me in jail if they had their way. I'm not a conservative because I think everyone has the right to be happy in a consensual, loving relationship. I'm not an independent because I'm able to accept our differences and allow you all the freedoms I have.

I love you and I know you love me. I just wanted to shed some light on this issue and provide some context.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's not 'freedom of speech' when discrimination is the source of the speech. Just like screaming fire in a movie theater, there is a line between 'free' speech and hateful speech. I think those people that stood in line at Chick-fil-A are hate filled homophobes and they trotted out their bigotry for all to see. BUT, they are outnumbered! The two thirds of the rest of the public don't support their bigotry and we vote too.

I married outside of my race and overcame my racism by THINKING about where my racism might have come from. It is so prevalent here in the Midwest but it's not normal. I've lived all over the states, north, south, west and east and abroad, but no where is racism so blatant than around here.

When I married my spouse 5.5 yrs ago, it didn't redefine marriage. The supreme court, 50 yrs ago, ruled that allowing different race couples to marry was constitutional. There are some that still give me that 'eye' when I am out with my husband but I don't worry that they will attack us or jail us for being married.

But just as this author wrote, the LBGT people can and will be fired for being gay because that discrimination is still legal in some states. I hate to admit to my gay family and friends that they should be afraid because some of these people are violent. The self righteous are embolden with their outward hatred and we all need to stand up to them. We cannot let their minority thinking take away the human rights of fellow citizens.

I know that marrying someone of a different race is way different than being gay but this is about human rights. Humans are being actively discriminated against and it's still legal in this country. We must make a stand to stop it. Just like how our country has evolved to accept mixed race couples, we MUST accept same sex couples as equals. And until we do, our country is lagging way behind other free countries that decided that the discrimination had to end.

And the tide has turned. Change is coming and we will all benefit when discrimination ends.

Peace
Lisa in Indy

denbec said...

Well said Lisa! I think the comparison between same sex couples and inter-racial couples is quite relevant. The only real difference is the notion of choice - that gays choose their life and can change back if they wanted to. And somehow they seem to know we made this choice better than we do and don't believe us when we say we did not choose. It's kinda crazy.

And you are correct - many of these people are very dangerous. When they truly believe they are doing the will of God, then they are embolden with a false sense of self righteousness and any violence involved is totally justified in their minds. After all - who would dare argue with God?!

But God never spoke a word - never wrote a word down - and oddly enough didn't even give all humanity the same instincts as a way of thinking things through.

Their hatred and violence against anyone is only justified by what the THINK is the word of God. That type of evidence would not hold up in a court of law and is not supported by our constitution either.